Those "little things" that creep up into BIG things....that sooo many don't even realize...is part of the reason EYE separate myself from a LOT of folks....especially bullshit mofos!  Folks who always want to take advantage.  Folks who scream support but NEVER support those who have supported them in the past.  Folks who owe you money...but try to act in public like they're GOD-fearing "conscious" folks when they're obvious frauds - thru and thru - per their own actions.  Folks who NEVER want to grow nor CAN'T grow...and they expect YOU to "not grow" with them...OR support their "non-growth" more than your own growth.  Folks who do absolutely NOTHING but front, stunt and cunt for show.  But in reality, there's no substance, credibility or nothing to be obtained from them but lessons on who and what NOT to deal with.

Interesting thoughts....all brought on, no doubt, by...."things"...dates....and the ever-present insidious depression and visions that never quite goes away.  You just learn how to handle it.  Manage it.  Tolerate it.  Or not.  It started with WHY EYE get little joy out of an area that's taken more than it's ever given.....including my soul mate.  It transformed into visions of Nov 2, 2007...and that look...that feeling...those last moments...and wondering what was that feeling like for him...and that hopelessness of not being able to do anything about it then...nor now.  It moved on to Mother's Day...which took me back to Dec 23, 1984,,,and wondering what those last moments were.  Was there pain?  Did she just slip away peacefully?  WHY didn't she let me know when EYE KNOW she KNEW she was "slipping away?"  And yet...knowing that answer already...for a loving Mom always protects her most precious from pain.  Which, in turn, has me thinking about EYE will probably go thru this whole process in another month.  Father's Day...you know.  And even more than Mom, EYE was/am definitely HIS little "mini-me."  Which takes me back to why EYE grind so hard.  Entrepreneurship runs in the family.  Caring too much about people who don't even care about themselves and constantly prove they don't give a rat's ass about YOU runs in the family.  Struggling behind doing for others who were unworthy runs in the family.

However...so does triumph...and overcoming.  EYE am my Parents' child.  And this feeling too shall past.  EYE just gotta make sure it doesn't delay my destiny with a better life and BETTER folks to connect and do business with.  Learn from the past...cherish the memories....STOP focusing on what can never be changed for the better....and just go ON.

Random thoughts while working.  Yeah...EYE really DO think very deeply.  An obvious sin in most places in America.  Especially "here."  That's why EYE stay focused on "there."  Where EYE'm going.  Nothing left where EYE "was"...but memories and loss.

It's what SHE would have wanted....ALWAYS wanted.  For me to go BEYOND this place...these draining spirits...and move onward to something much better and wonderfully FOR me.  LOVE YOU MOM!!   And being obedient.

They say the things that don't kill you make you stronger.  Indeed.  And still wishing.




01/03/2015 3:26am

Education to maintain our house hold and other related stuff also come in the frame of education because only an educated woman understand the value of neat and clean house and its appliances as well.

04/24/2016 11:25am

They say the things that don't kill you make you stronger. I do concur with this. In this imperfect life, what we all need is to have complete courage and determination dealing with life. We should learn how to live without fear but of faith accompanied by our good attitude and actions.

05/10/2016 12:41am

That's right, that the things that don't kill you make you stronger!)

02/14/2017 10:47am

Mahjong game is completed when every pair of tiles has been taken from the board.


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